The Ultimatum Queer Love S. 2 Reinforces Lessons on Platonic Intimacy, Boundaries, and Queerness in Masculinty
Photo Credit: The Wrap
Season two of the hit Netflix series The Ultimatum: Queer Love has made its Pride Month debut and we have SO MUCH to unpack regarding the show!
While season one of the series set the tone for expectations of drama and passion on screen, season two really dug its heels into various themes that present themselves regularly within the LGBTQ+ community.
Every couple featured in the series was open and candid about the reasons they did or did not wan’t to marry their current partner. For some, the reasons were rooted in discrepancies with their family grappling with them being queer. For others, cold feet and self sabotage seemed to be at the forefront of the impasse in their relationship. Things got intense when each couple was repaired with a new partner for three weeks, forcing everyone to take a deeper look at themselves in the process.
Photo Credit: Netflix
Season two of The Ultimatum: Queer Love is the catalyst for a larger conversation on varying topics that are intertwined with LGBTQ+ culture and relationships in the community. Expressed through laughter, emotional upheaval, and heart felt communication, everyone in the cast served as a reminder on how we can improve in our relationships with ourselves, as well as ur relationships with others.
Here are our major takeaways from the show.
Platonic Love Matters in Queer Friendships
One of the best things about reality TV is that you can always expect the unexpected. One of the highlights of the season was watching AJ’s partner Britney become trial wives with Marita who funny enough, wanted to be paired with AJ initially.
By the end of the season, Britney and Marita developed a friendship, explored platonic intimacy, and had several conversations about what they require to have their needs met in a relationship. Britney was able to provide stability and comfort in an organic way that made Marita feel cared for, and Marita created a light hearted environment that made Britney feel safe to be a provider, and a friend.
Photo Credit: Betches
The dynamic between Britney and Marita is a reminder that platonic intimacy in friendships is important, and that your partner doesn’t have to be the only one to show you that you’re loved and cared for. Not only is it healthy to allow your friends to love you and hold space for you, but it raises the bar for romantic intimacy when you do meet someone you’re interested in.
Sometimes, Peoples Parents Are Homophobic
You would assume that more people would have come around to the idea of their grown child being queer by the year 2025, but viewers were reminded that people are still struggling with having their accept them as LGBTQ+ in present day.
Both Megan who is Lebanese, and Pilar who is also a QWOC expressed having issues with their families accepting their queerness because of cultural beliefs. In a diverse community of people who have differing backgrounds, it’s important for us all to remember that coming out may be harder for some than it is for others.
It’s also important to be supportive of queer peers who are at odds with their families because of their decision to live in their truth. Those moments are when we need community the most. Forcing people to come out or making them choose between a relationship or their family is unkind and immature.
Masculinity is Not Rooted Solely in Wardrobe
Masculinity and gender roles make for a hell of a conversation starter in queer spaces. One interesting nuance on the show was the dynamic between Magan and her trial wife Haley. Haley, who came onto the show with Pilar, is a dominant femme who took the lead in her relationship back home. Her partner Pilar is also femme presenting.
Magan is a masc presenting woman who originally came onto the show with her partner Dayna who is femme presenting. While observing Megan and Haley during their trial marriage, it became evident that Megan felt safe with a dominant femme who balanced the masculine and feminine energies between them.
Photo Credit: Moviedelic
Masculinity and femininity are not exclusive to gender and that ideology is part of what makes queerness queer. As LGBTQ+ people, we aren’t confined to binary gender norms or rigid heteronormative dynamics rooted in patriarchal values. We are free to explore the balance of feminine and masculine energies regardless of how one presents one surface.
While society may say otherwise, don’t forget that masc presenting people need warmth and tenderness too.
Certain Boundaries Can’t be Uncrossed
Heavy on the word BOUNDARY. While the notion of “forgive and forget” is cute, there are some lines that can’t be crossed if you wan’t to keep trust intact between you and your partner. Boundaries come naturally when you know yourself and what you require to feel safe and have your basic needs met in a relationship.
Watching people casually lie to their partners about their trial wives on national television was a reminder that people who love themselves will probably only let you cross a boundary ONCE with them.
Respect the boundaries of the ones you love.
If you haven’t already tuned in to season two of The Ultimatum: Queer Love, tune in and stick around for the season finale of the show set to debut on Netflix July 2nd.
Click the link below for full details on the cast!
